The 10 worst dresses ever to cross the Oscar’s red carpet

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Hey Charlie Girl! We love kooky Diane Keaton, but then she went off-kilter when she took her Oscar-winning Annie Hall to new heights as Charlie Chaplin. She showed up in a long cutaway jacket over a mash-up of stripes and polka dots on high-waisted trousers, a shrunken vest and a wide tie. The only thing missing was a toothbrush moustache.

Hey Charlie Girl! We love kooky Diane Keaton, but then she went off-kilter when she took her Oscar-winning Annie Hall to new heights as Charlie Chaplin. She showed up in a long cutaway

Hey girlfriend, I think a foundation garment would have been a good idea. But no! Paltrow arrived at the Oscars in a see-through Christian Lacroix Goth-inspired number that left her boobs lopsided.

Hey girlfriend, I think a foundation garment would have been a good idea. But no! Paltrow arrived at the Oscars in a see-through Christian Lacroix Goth-inspired number that left her

Cue the quinceanera music because here comes America’s ex-top model in a purple Vera Wang tulle gown that was headed to debut, not the Oscars.

Cue the quinceanera music because here comes America’s ex-top model in a purple Vera Wang tulle gown that was headed to debut, not the Oscars.

I was on the red carpet (covering the Oscars for the Los Angeles Times) when Dion strolled in front of me in Dior’s backwards suit. Her backwards double-breasted coat is all the more reason why every woman should never get dressed in the dark. Leave that for the guys.

I was on the red carpet (covering the Oscars for the Los Angeles Times) when Dion strolled in front of me in Dior’s backwards suit. Her backwards double-breasted coat is all the more

GOT MILK? Hey, Uma, we’ll take a gallon of . . . how about a better dress? Whatever would have possessed this “Pulp Fiction” actress to wear this mess of a dress by Christian Lacroix with suspenders attached to a belt and all-over awkward fabric layers? Let’s milk that question for a bit.

GOT MILK? Hey, Uma, we’ll take a gallon of . . . how about a better dress? Whatever would have possessed this “Pulp Fiction” actress to wear this mess of a dress by Christian Lacroix

Jolie must has confused Halloween for the Oscar red carpet, channeling Morticia Addams — snap, snap — in a clingy and creepy black Versace gown. And then there’s her straight, stringy, greasy hair that, of course, added to her trick or treat style.

Jolie must has confused Halloween for the Oscar red carpet, channeling Morticia Addams — snap, snap — in a clingy and creepy black Versace gown. And then there’s her straight,

Moore declared she designed her own look — what a dumb thing to admit! — that included Spandex bicycle shorts (fully exposed in the front), a bustier top and a metallic-lined skirt. Thank goodness she stuck to her day job after wearing this catastrophe.

Moore declared she designed her own look — what a dumb thing to admit! — that included Spandex bicycle shorts (fully exposed in the front), a bustier top and a metallic-lined skirt.

I love me some lots of Cher, but just as Banks was headed to the prom and Jolie to Halloween, Cher — in this feathered, caged and bedazzled showgirl Bob Mackie get-up — looked like she was on her way to Vegas, baby. Hey, she eventually accomplished that with her own dazzling show.

I love me some lots of Cher, but just as Banks was headed to the prom and Jolie to Halloween, Cher — in this feathered, caged and bedazzled showgirl Bob Mackie get-up — looked like she was on

You know when toilet paper gets caught on your shoe? Apparently, lots of TP got caught on Geena Davis’ mullet monstrosity mess of a dress. Davis also had a hand in this unforgivable design of gathered puffs and ruffles, a micro-mini in front and a long train in the back. It’s really a Can Can dancer’s dress that just couldn’t couldn’t.

You know when toilet paper gets caught on your shoe? Apparently, lots of TP got caught on Geena Davis’ mullet monstrosity mess of a dress. Davis also had a hand in this unforgivable

What the Frock? Bjork took a swan dive in this dud with a swan’s neck wrapped around her neck, resting its beak on her breasts. Back then it was the evening’s highlight and topped the worst list. Still does. And with good reason: 16 years later, this egg is, well, a crack up.

What the Frock? Bjork took a swan dive in this dud with a swan’s neck wrapped around her neck, resting its beak on her breasts. Back then it was the evening’s highlight and topped the worst

The glamorous award season comes to an end tonight with Hollywood’s Academy Awards at the Dolby Theatre.

But often red carpet glam is slammed with fabulous flubs — c’mon, it’s the only reason San Antonio’s fashion guru and MySA.com contributor, Michael Quintanila loves to watch.

It’s all about that instant thrill and shrill when an egg is laid, like the one Bjork dropped on us 16 years ago dressed as a swan.

Take cover as I take you on a tour of other fabulous red carpet disasters.

Click through the slideshow for a look at the worst dresses ever at the Academy Awards

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