The death of someone close means that at the time of making love this can be the smaller of the desires or a way of escape that you reduce the emotional pain through physical pleasure,
it Is that time of life in which nothing fancy. And it is also a moment, or happened, that is repeated and repeated, unfortunately. Like, normally, only scream, cry or remain silent. The death of a family member or loved one affects every aspect of the life following, and also the sexual. When the grief and the sex have to converge, there are many emotions that come into context: guilt, shame, loss of appetite… And even ideas extreme as consider: “What right have I to enjoy life -sex, orgasms, fondling – after my father -or my mother or even my partner – he has died?”.
Feature the sexologists working in therapies, individual and couple, in general, this type of conflict arrive masked by other problems, “lid”, as the treatment proceeds, reveal the authentic. “There can arise feelings of disloyalty towards the partner who died, fringes of a duel that has not been done to develop and cause difficulties in future sexual encounters,” explains Violeta Mendoza, a psychotherapist and sex therapist member of the Association of Professionals in Sexology (AEPS).
it Also does this professional, naturally, and as they say, each person is a world. And there are so many duels as a people and equally as many types of sexual desire as individuals, practically. “You can do a duel and move on, without further complications, but there are also couples that were already broken before the death family and may arise with more force feelings of guilt, but there is a general pattern and will always depend on the specific situation,” he continues.
Is what the sexologist Paul Lozano called “proof”, a “inhibition of the desire that it expresses, in reality, other conflicts of the relationship: ‘I don’t want to and neither do effort because you do not deserve it'”. “The appetite of desire is associated with the process of mourning for culture and the effect of the brain activity before the loss. The person assume from his interior pain as well as isolation and denial of pleasure, in a society in which the guilt and the social image projected to have weight,” says Lozano.
Both of these professionals stand out, also, that, in general, “in couples there is enough understanding in this respect, because in the end they also have lost a family member, even if it is political”. They also agree that the reactions can be very diverse, “from loss of appetite to a greater desire”, even. It considers also the psychologist Sara Losantos, specializing in grief and a member of the Fundación Mario Losantos del Campo, which develops guidelines for knowing how to conduct oneself in that process. That is to say, there are people who, in the face of such pain, they take refuge in sex as a means of escape, as an escape from the emotional pain through physical pleasure.
From sexology, it is recommended to “respect the process of the other without judging if it is good or bad, if it is as well as it should be or not, if it has been a long time and still is affected,” says Mendoza. After all, this is also a matter of always when of personal relationships: respect, affection, empathy and love pouring in (if you have one, of course).
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