Relationship column: the end of the real appointments

I look at my phone and had three messages from three men, thief of interpretation could not loose his. One writes: “Well, what are you doing that?” the Zweitedas Same, only without the “Na” and the third asks: “Hey, how was your day?” I doubt that any of the three are really interested in what I’m doing or how my day was. I don’t blame them, after all little of what you are “just as interested in me as well”.

Smalltalk is not boring enough, but at the langweiligstenist he, if mandas knows To yet.The more and the more frequently you write with foreign people, the higher the probability that it comes to a real Meeting, because at least one has been lost from both of you before the interest.

This is the pattern I experience all the time, since I was Single and open for new acquaintances am.Ichlerne to know someone online or offline, exchange numbers, and sometimes the Instagram-Profilmit ihmaus,dannschreibenwirein couple of times trivialities back and forth and it all fizzles. Without that, we would have taken unsje.A couple of messages here, a few Likes daund perhaps a reaction to the Instagram Story, that was that.

Other Single-tell Friends Similar to myself. Each one has with several men from time to time, but “real Dates” are rare. The reasons are various: Times a not can the application of two (or both) simply diemotivation for it, because it’s just stressful the Job is, or the interest, then not so great times, the selection of potential Dates is so rich that you decide on Endefür none.

The element of Surprise is lost

But I think there is still something behind it: fear. Many Singles are self-conscious. For me a first Date is often not more than a Meeting with friends, I’m no great thoughts. Many others but all Important to clarify want in advance.

often, men ask me about it before the Date: “What are you looking for?” – what I find rather unfortunate. Basically, each unique response is inappropriate. “I’m looking for a relationship” – because I can forget the Date. So,as you can be alone and be emotionally needy. “I’m looking for Sex” is not necessarily better – this is coming fast, shallow, and disrespectful.

these questions, it is often the first to Meet, and if they do, the ease lost. And: any Chance to be surprised. To meet with someone and to agree beforehand, that it should only be about Sex, or only love, is to unwrap as a gift, the contents of which you already know. You might still have joy – but it is predictable. And first Dates a life of spontaneity.

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