Don’t assume a pregnancy unless you know for sure
Dear Abby: Recently, while making a purchase at a local store and handing the cashier my money, she asked, “How many months along are you?” I was confused for a moment, until I realized she had assumed I was pregnant. (I’m not.) When I told her I wasn’t, she just shrugged and said, “Oh.”
Abby, my feelings were hurt. I will most likely never see that cashier again — and I do not know her — but I would like to know how to respond to this in the future. I don’t believe people should assume a woman is pregnant unless they know for sure that she is. What she said made me instantly want to lash out. However, I knew that responding with more rudeness would do no good. So, what should I say if this ever happens again? — Not Pregnant in Alabama
Dear Not Pregnant: You handled the situation appropriately. The cashier was presumptuous. If it happens again, either handle it the way you did with that clerk or say, “Why do you ask?” and let the person squirm.
Dear Abby: My 30-year-old son insists that I should help pay for the orthodontia he feels he should have had as a child. He is a grown man now with three children of his own, and I am not sure if I, his dad, should financially help him with this. What do you think?
— Bracing for an Answer Dear Bracing: I am going to assume that when your son was a minor, you could not afford to get him the orthodontia he needed, which is sad. That said, if you wish to help him now and doing so would not put undue financial pressure on you, go ahead and help him out.
However, if you are being guilted into paying because your financially independent son thinks he is “entitled” to it, then forking over the money would be a mistake.
Write Dear Abby at P.O. Box 69440, Los Angeles 90069 or www.DearAbby.com.
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