Everyone knows that, whether in the park or on the street: a dog comes towards you, wagging its tail and you feel the need to stroke it. But should you really do that with strange dogs? And if so: What’s the best way to crawl? A dog expert has an “insider tip, but it’s disgusting”.

When you leave the house, the new neighbour’s dog comes happily towards you. While he sniffs at the trouser leg, he is lovingly patted on the head. The neighbor greets us in a friendly way, but takes the dog aside. Wasn’t the stroking a good idea? Especially cute dogs with fluffy fur tempt many people to touch them without asking the owner.

It’s better to refrain from spontaneous petting: “A stranger shouldn’t just approach a dog and want to touch it,” says Barbara Schöning, a veterinarian specializing in behavioral science and one of the authors of “Dogs – everything you need to know”.

Since you don’t know which parts of a strange dog’s body he likes or dislikes being petted, he could feel threatened: “I don’t know whether the strange dog interprets being touched as a threat, then gets scared and possibly reacts aggressively,” says Schoening. Therefore, strange dogs should only be observed. That may be difficult, but “Dogs are not on the planet for us to touch,” says Justina Lempe, founder of the free dog school Berlin and author of “My Dog – My Friend: The Training Book for Young People”.

Even if a dog runs up to a stranger in the park, that doesn’t necessarily mean that he wants to be petted, says Schöning. Dogs are just curious. Therefore, one should also avoid touching him: “I would let a strange dog sniff and then move on if necessary.” Even if you know your four-legged friends well, you should rather not pet them or at least ask the owner for permission beforehand.

But what do I do as the owner if someone pats my dog ??without being asked and I don’t want that? Schöning recommends the following explanation: “My dog ??doesn’t appreciate it when he’s petted.” However, some people do not accept this justification. “I would simply say: my dog ??has fleas or it bites,” says Rene Luczyk, owner of the “Pfotentreff” dog school in Olfen. Schöning also thinks a white lie is okay in this case.

When you visit dog owners, the contact with the animals is longer and the dog becomes more familiar after a while. Then you could try to pet the dog carefully. But you should definitely pay attention to a few signals: If he wants to be touched, according to Schöning, you can tell by the fact that the dog makes a relaxed impression, especially on the face, and maybe also hugs the human. When petting, the dog’s body should be loose under the hand.

On the other hand, if the dog is tense, you should never pet it. This is first shown by a tense face, often also by a slightly turned head, before the body is also tensed. “As soon as the dogs turn away, they want to get out of the situation,” explains Rene Luczyk. Another signal for refusal to be stroked is when the dog shifts its weight to the other side.

Squinting eyes, ears pointing backwards or completely motionless dogs are also not a good sign: “Many dogs also freeze if something makes them uncomfortable,” says Justina Lempe. That is a clear sign, which many would not see and then wonder why the dog suddenly snapped. Lempe recommends dog lovers to wait until the dog itself makes contact with humans.

For example, when you visit dog owners, you can sit down at the table and see how the dog reacts. He could then crawl under the table and slowly approach the person. Since the dog’s signals are not easy to recognize for people without dog experience and children, they should be particularly careful. This also applies to puppies who, according to Luczyk and Lempe, like to bite their hands. “Young dogs prefer to play,” explains Justina Lempe.

According to Rene Luczyk, if it is clear that the dog would like to be petted, it is best to crouch down instead of bending over it, as this could be perceived as a threat. Then you should let him sniff your hand first. Lempe, on the other hand, finds this unnecessary, since the four-legged friends would also smell good at a distance of two meters: “From the dog’s point of view, that’s very impolite, because it’s a forward movement into the individual distance.”

They would show reassurance signals, like yawning or licking the nose, because they wanted more distance. However, Lempe and Luczyk agree that you shouldn’t stare a strange dog in the eye. In addition, it is better not to stroke his face, head or stomach. Hugs are also taboo.

The dog feels restricted and that can make him aggressive. “I don’t just throw my arms around a stranger’s neck,” says Luczyk. A strange dog should generally not be petted while it is eating. This causes the dog to start gorging or even biting as it wants to defend its food.

While you shouldn’t touch certain parts of a strange dog, everything that pleases your own dog is allowed. “As a rule, the owner knows best where and how his dog likes to be touched. There is no right or wrong,” says Schöning. According to Rene Luczyk, if the dog likes it, owners can also stroke their stomach and head.

According to Justina Lempe, many dogs lie on their backs and present their stomachs, which is a clear sign that they want to be petted there. Even if they lay their heads on their owners or seek other physical contact, cuddling is encouraged. A no-go for Luczyk is to knock the dog on the side. “It’s a terrible habit.” No dog likes that and in the worst case it can lead to internal injuries.

According to Schöning and Lempe, you can even hug and kiss your own dog if the dog tolerates it. Just make sure it doesn’t get too much for him. In addition, the four-legged friend should be relaxed. This is more likely to be the case inside on the sofa than outside, where people are romping around. On the other hand, you shouldn’t pet your dog when it’s misbehaving. This signals to the four-legged friend that his behavior was correct. “The dog can understand that as reinforcement,” says Luczyk.

According to Schöning, it is not good to startle the dog from its sleep because you want to pet it. If you want to treat your dog to a particularly pleasant stroking session, Lempe has an “absolute insider tip, but it’s disgusting”: you can scratch your dog’s ear and then let him lick the earwax. “All the dogs love it,” says the dog trainer.

(This article was first published on Saturday, October 22, 2022.)