Kremlin plasters are known to live in the past. His favorite clergyman also shows how retro the country he rules is. Just because of his costume. But it is also from the day before yesterday in terms of content. Kirill does not preach peace, but war.
Esteemed audience, here it is again, the wonderful weekend gem for your exercise. I hope you enjoy the fact that you are not feeling like the infantile Irmgard, who angrily told me: “I just blocked ntv.” Yes, she has. Revenge. About me. Because of me. Because I find Kremlin-Putze, the leader of the cleaning crew that wants to cleanse Ukraine “of Nazis and drug addicts” and disguises it as “liberation,” to be cranky.
The cleaning crew isn’t exactly squeamish about the “liberation” of the Ukrainians, they flatten everything, preferably with all kinds of explosives. An army of madness that announces on posters: “Where we are, there is peace.” This thesis is open to debate. I would not agree with her. But as is well known, we not only live in the age of alternative facts, but also of alternative truths, alternative beliefs and alternative media. war is peace lie is truth bad is good unbelief is belief. blood is holy water A war criminal is a peace angel.
Or have you not seen Kremlin plasterers at Easter prayers with a candle in their hands and at the side of Kirill, the so-called head of many millions of Orthodox Christians? So beautifully peaceful. So beautifully deceitful. Or not. It’s all just a question of alternative beliefs. Where we are there is peace. God is where I am, thinks Kremlin-Putze, who thinks he is merciful because he is “liberating” Ukraine. He sees himself confirmed because Kirill, the patriarch, supports him. That makes Kremlin plasterers happy. Satisfied people everywhere in the land of the self-proclaimed angels of peace.
Kremlin plasters and Kirill are united in the belief in evil. Both were once with the KGB, which connects them beyond death, at least as long as they live. The two believers idolize the color white. Your favorite utensils are white. One regularly sits at a big white table that looks silly, the other regularly wears a big white hat that looks silly. Maybe they swap from time to time, I don’t know anything about that. Some people can’t do without a table, others can’t live without their hats – and they can’t die either. He has to wear it until he’s dead in order to be recognized. Kirill’s costume looks a bit retro overall. It fits in perfectly with his country, where everything is retro.
The white hat isn’t the patriarch’s only USP. Another unique feature is that he does not preach peace, as the clergy usually do, but war. He interprets the Bible in a generally strange way. “May the Lord God help us all to unite in these difficult times for our fatherland, also around the state organs,” the devout once said. Amazing words, since if I am correctly informed, secularity is in the constitution of the country of the self-proclaimed angels of peace.
That doesn’t really sound like the church separating from state and society. More like: One people, one spirit, one faith! That’s how it should be. Why shouldn’t fascists be clergymen or believers? God hasn’t forbidden anything for many centuries, he allows everything that happens because he wants to test us. Now it’s the turn of the Ukrainians.
I have to say: Orthodox sounds like drain cleaner. But it is not. The orthodox live out their faith very strictly, so they don’t go to the whorehouse but grab a little boy. Kirill certainly doesn’t do that. He prefers to advocate stopping “gay parades” in eastern Ukraine, which has been practiced successfully since February 24, 2022. Because where the army of Kremlin cleaners shows up, not only is there peace, there is debris in the streets, making parades difficult.
Kirill is a stick conservative. Like the pope, he sometimes has a stick with him so that the inexperienced observer can see it immediately. In his view, an eye for an eye and a tooth for a tooth is a great thing, which is why he proclaims: “Russia has never attacked anyone and has no intention of fighting anyone.” No, definitely not. It’s all just God-sent imagination that we see on TV night after night.
The governments of the states of the Shire, which begins just across the border from the country where Kremlin plasters and Kirill preach wine and drink vodka, consider the Orthodox to be Satan. They wanted to sanction him. Unholy Victor, sole ruler of Hungary, prevented it. He likes Kirill and his sheep. The “freedom of belief of Hungarian religious communities” is “sacred and inalienable” to the unholy Victor. Sanctus has nothing to do with sanctions. No faith for oil! Very good. This is progress and better than war for oil! Amen.
Humanity is constantly learning. In January 2009, when Kirill became the head shepherd of his flock of sheep, the then chairman of the Evangelical Church in a republic in the middle of the Shire, a bishop named Wolfgang, recalled “very fondly” the “diverse fraternal encounters and conversations in the past” with the Orthodox . He wished him “wisdom, courage and strength”. Kirill’s sheep and the sheep of the Protestant Church in the Shire are “connected in many ways, in good days and in bad”. Of course, the patriarch should and will promote ecumenism. Kirill, we are counting on you!
A good ten months later, a state bishop named Margot was elected Wolfgang’s successor – Kirill renounced a sign of charity, he had no desire for sisterly encounters and stopped the dialogue with the Protestants in the Shire. Because he didn’t want to meet a woman because she has no place in a bishop’s office, since that is a violation of God’s laws, said Kremlin-Putze’s favorite spiritual leader.
The bishop, named Margot, took note of this “with amazement and great incomprehension”. In the meantime, she has seen through Kirill and thinks he is stupid because he has described opponents of Kremlin plaster as “forces of evil”. Where there is evil, the Christians of the Shire rebel and speak plain language.
Also the Catholic young community of the republic in the middle of the Auenland, which is abbreviated to KjG. She is striving for “a more sustainable church”. To this end, she has set out in search of terms for God “that encompass more than the white male conception” of God. She found a sign. In hope, which, as is well known, is the last to die, the young Catholics express “the diversity of God in their words, in writings and actions” with a plus. This will surely be successful. Because that is close to the people like the Catholic Church as a whole.
In addition, the “KjGler*innen” condemned the activities of Kremlin cleaning “in the strongest terms” at their federal conference. They did not declare themselves to be Kirill. But you don’t have to say something about every satan.
