By moving to a neighborhood ‘good’ ended up bulimic. He attempted suicide when her boyfriend left her… and decided to tell all his existential drama in ForoCoches
Was a success of that now is born a book. She herself tells us this
he shows Us his huge scars on the feet and smiles because she no longer has the knuckles into the flesh of taken orally for vomiting what you eat
The first book emerged from Forocoches: the 37 days of a young woman in psychiatry after attempting to commit suicide
If there is something that Sydney does not support are the questions. “I’m a distraction,” he confesses. But people have the horrible and nagging habit of asking.
why do you have these huge scars on my feet? (they are the 60 points you have in total after trying to commit suicide by throwing herself over a bridge).
why do you have the knuckles of the hand in the flesh? (both arañárselos with the teeth, to get up to five times a day the hand to the mouth to cause vomiting).
Why do you eat so weird? (because it is bulimic from the age of 14).
why you are always dead cold? (because it has infrapeso).
why we have not seen lately? (because he suffers Borderline Personality Disorder and, only in the last year, she has been twice admitted to a psychiatric hospital).
why is this? Why do another? Why what of beyond?
Both hates the questions that if it has been renamed as Sydney Bristow (the protagonist of the tv series Alias) is because it shares 100% one of the phrases most repeated that heroine of fiction: “you make too many questions.”
however, this madrilenian of 32 years and look childish has decided to answer all the questions. In writing, yes. But with a sincerity so beastly as heartbreaking.
After her suicide attempt, Sydney spent 37 days in a psychiatric hospital. On his return to his house was prostrate on a sofa, unable to move because of the injuries that had been done to attempt to take their life. “One day, bored, I picked up the mobile and I started to write a diary the real story of these 37 days”.
he Was posting his story, outrageous but narrated with a great dose of black humor, in ForoCoches, an internet forum that is devoted. And swept: received 200,000 visits and more than 8,000 comments. Now these 317 pages written from a mobile phone have been transformed into ‘How I flew over the cuckoo’s nest’, a book by Plaza&Janés in which Sydney is open on the channel and brings to light his bowels. For example, the misery of the bulimia.
“The people believe that bulimia is throwing up. But bulimia literally means “hunger of an ox”. What he was doing and unfortunately I’m doing is eating like a bull, giving me binge eating and then vomiting. I’ve eaten dog food, junk food, until my own vomit… Yes: I’ve caught with the hand my pots and I’ve gone back to eating,” she says as fidgets with a lock of his mane blonde. “Eating calms me, soothes me. The food is my refuge.”
The case is that Sydney grew up in a family as well. His father works as an engineer in an american company. “We were moving to houses getting bigger as I was ascending,” he recalls. And each move was accompanied by a change of school. At the age of 13, he ended up in a house of five bedrooms and seven bathrooms in a very elitist of Madrid and in a private school quite posh. “A school where the only thing that counted was to have boobs, the polo Ralph Lauren latest model, be beautiful and be thin. You had two choices: adapt or die. And I decided to adapt”.
they Began feeding problems: it began to be full of food, then vomit. With 16 years she had her first admission to hospital for infrapeso.
“you can Not imagine the things that he did. So that my parents would not notice, he vomited in garbage bags, closed and hid in my room. I put the alarm clock at 4:00 in the morning to throw them away outside. But I was lazy and I started to ware them. My mother found them one day: there were 15”. Not to mention the records from 2004, when 17 years old began to record their weight, body mass, girth of waist, thighs and hip and to make graphics that indicated if, in his opinion was fat or thin.
Even so he got the race Right.And got hired in a bank. On the same day that you signed the contract it was to live alone. He was 24 years old.
“In the mental hospital I discovered types that if I meet in the street change of sidewalk. And they were remarkable people”
Apparently everything was going well. But it was a mirage. “I never stopped atiborrarme to eat and vomiting. In fact, the real reason I got out was to be able to do what I wanted with the food, without having my mother and my father behind,” he confesses.
And then, in January of 2014, he crossed in his life David. “A computer, amazing, spectacular”, in the words of Sydney. They started to leave. She turned, determined in which that relationship was perfect. David, of course, not told nothing of their eating disorders. Continued vomiting, but hidden.
I Wanted to that yours was a dating movie, and both are obfuscated in it that the thing went out of hands: would send a thousand messages per day to David, I pan-fried at calls. He, saturated, just leaving it.
“I Felt that the world had just been,” says Sydney.
Her bulimia worsened. And the drug, before occasional, were occupying more and more space. “I was leaving work at six in the afternoon, I went home and had two routines. Or I spent the afternoon eating and vomiting, eating and vomiting up to five times a day, and with the knuckles torn both brought the hand to the mouth, or I atiborraba of orfidales and slept until the next day. Work and vomiting or to work and sleep, that was me plan of life. But I discovered that I could add a third plan: to work and to get high smoking cocaine and heroin”.
Among the enormous purchases of food, drugs, mortgage and home expenses, the money will not come. So he was borrowing with quick loans and peppering the credit cards. “They asked for a loan to pay off other loans. A time came in which was about 20.000 euros”. And weighed 42 kilos.
Her father agreed to lend a hand with the money. And she to change income voluntarily in a clinic. “I was eternal, it was a living hell. I picked up weight. And on top I had to go back to living in my parents ‘ house. It was horrible,” he says.
“I Took 20 gelocatiles”
Until one day, when you leavel work, we opened the ground at his feet. “I realized everything. I had put fat. I lived with my parents. David had run out. My only motivation in life was to vomit. So, I took 20 gelocatiles, knowing that they would kill me”.
he Sent a farewell message to his sister. “And this, who is a doctor, I said yes, that he was going to die but that would take a week and that would be most painful. I wanted to go home and help me. However what I did was throw myself over a bridge”.
he Was saved by a miracle. But it shattered the feet, they had to ask him several operations and it was not clear if she would walk. Even was in a wheelchair when she was admitted in the psychiatric hospital.
Was there for 37 days. And came out changed. “I discovered that the types that seemed to me a hung, that if I had crossed the street would have changed sidewalk, were remarkable people”.
The rest you already know. Sydney wrote his history on the internet, it was a success (“I have No idea why”, she says) and now comes the book. The bad news is that he returned to the old ways, he returned to become sad, turned to vomit. “To this day I still do”, he admits. Last may she was back in the psychiatric hospital. And remains low, without work. “But it makes me hope and illusion of the book.”
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