The approximately 70 linguists and philologists, including women, had not expected that! The ZDF has surprisingly decided to end gendering in its program as demanded by the experts and now wants to radically change course after the great success of the “Mallorca vs. Oktoberfest” edition of the popular “Fernsehgarten”.
The members of the Council for German Spelling, the Society for the German Language, PEN Germany, the Leibniz Center for General Linguistics and various linguists had previously accused the public media of their inconsistent and ideologically over-formed use of gender-appropriate forms of language for “significant social unrest”.
An accusation that at least the second one didn’t want to let sit for long: “Fuck the wall: we’ll show you humorless hookers and horny old puff uncles!”, ZDF director Norbert Himmler replied now on the edge of the “TV garden ‘ after enjoying three plastic buckets of sangria, responding to criticism from linguists.
In order to make it clear how little fee-financed television really cares about the respectful interaction between the sexes and any educational mandate, the people of Mainz played big on the “Mallorca vs. Oktoberfest” show: DJ Robin was allowed to do so
“So that we don’t misunderstand each other: I have nothing against the women’s movement,” roared ZDF boss Himmler in his sweaty “Team Layla” shirt, while joining the polonaise of the uninhibited “Fernsehgarten” audience, “as long as they are beautiful is rhythmic!”
Because the special edition of the “Fernsehgarten” was so well received by the viewers and one viewer with a high school diploma and under no circumstances wanted to continue to mess with the country’s linguistic elite, the decision was made to change the program, the director announced under his slip Bierhelm: “From now on we’ll only be broadcasting this awesome boob stuff around the clock!”
As it is said, the ZDF is already in negotiations with Michael Wendler as the new anchorman of the “heute” news. But he should still hesitate because the “TV garden” is too low-level for him.
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