My friends had told me that eventually the day would come where I Wake up and everything pretty much is ok. In the meantime, I listen to Adele and think for hours of a crisis summit in the shared kitchen. And then eventually, because, the Moment: I can stand the grief. Get up. Continue to do this.
And I wonder, after all this time: Who am I really? At 18, I had fallen in love with me head over heels and now, with 25, it is as if I had awakened from a deep sleep. I was for so long part of It is that I now have to search only once after the I. I have to ask myself what I want, what I like, and Who I want to be. It starts with little things: What kind of music I like? I would have started regardless of the relationship to wear Hoodies? And I actually like Football?
the Latter I can answer now is clearly “no”. But out of love you sit countless hours in front of the TV, and pursuing a Sport that you don’t have the slightest idea. Also the thing with the taste of music and clothes had done relatively quickly – Adele helps, and Hoodies are in some life situations, is very practical. Back the feeling remains, as I should into a ball, like the one in the Mini Playback Show, and then after a Make-over, as a new and fabulous Version of myself out here. Only in the Part in which an otherwise Marijke Amado actively to the side, I’m on my own.
