Sofa pacifists and SPD conservatives know that nuclear war will break out as soon as Germany delivers tanks to Ukraine. Until then, we will remain world champions in announcing and condemning human rights violations of all kinds. And we are happy about the nuclear phase-out.
How good that in these dark times enlightenment is taking place everywhere. Not only our Pipeline-Manu and our Federal President have lights up. They admit to making mistakes, oh yes, mistakes. The two penitents had no idea that Kremlin cleaners, commanders-in-chief of the cleaning crew that cleans Ukraine of Ukrainians, like the Nazis do, who have certain people in their way, have a certain tendency to kill. But now they know. Because of the war. And so they flog themselves and sprinkle ashes on their heads, as befits decent politicians in a Christian country.
Armin Laschet, a member of a people’s party that is open to Catholics and Protestants, can also be happy about the divine power of late knowledge. He now knows what he didn’t know a year ago, which is why he urgently wanted to become the supreme shepherd of all Germans. The ex-CDU leader, ex-candidate for chancellor, ex-important politician and ex-general recently explained about the so-called union. “We were no longer in a state of governability after 16 years.” During the election campaign, he constantly explained how great Queen Angela did everything, how she mastered crises one after the other, why she had no time to govern and why he was planning a “real new beginning”.
As is well known, he did not get a chance. never mind Firstly, the train is often unpunctual. Second: The Progress Coalition took over the “genuine new beginning,” although, to be fair, Kremlin plasterers held up both the new beginning and the progress. That’s why Christine Lambrecht, the best self-defense minister since the birth of Christ, immediately delivered 5,000 helmets to the Ukrainian army, a sign of Christian mercy.
Don’t forget before you judge, that was at the end of January. At that time, our Pipeline Manu and our Federal President had not yet seen the light and Gerhard Schröder was loved, valued and admired by everyone in the SPD. Because first the comrades had to realize that the very old chancellor Kremlin-Putze is faithfully standing by their side. Nobody in Schröder’s party knew that either.
Ms. Lambrecht called the 5,000 helmets a “very clear signal: We stand by your side.” She meant the Ukrainians and not the manufacturers of the helmets. “We are working to resolve this conflict peacefully in the middle of Europe.” And of course there are red lines as thick and bold as Ukrainian stalks of wheat. “The observance of international law cannot be negotiated. The integrity of states and the sovereignty of the alliance cannot be discussed.”
No, of course not, the SPD is in complete agreement on that, with whomever. Maybe that’s even the opinion of King Olaf the Unclear, no one knows. Anyway, I have no idea. Perhaps a united picture of opinion will emerge in the progressive coalition, so that the German people will be less confused and not afraid of nuclear war, which will not happen anyway because Kremlin Putze wants to go down in history as the manufacturer of the largest Russia in the world ever seen, from Vladivostok to Lisbon. When the world ends, no one will write history books anymore. For now, the brave Ukrainians are holding up Kremlin plasterers in the establishment of the Fourth Reich. Right at the front: the 5000 lucky ones with German steel helmets on their skulls. We make it!
In any case, first scientists, perhaps the scientific service of the Bundestag, have to draw up a scientific report, which is scientifically examined by other scientists, to determine whether international law is being broken and whether a genocide has been committed against the Ukrainians. Now that takes time. It’s a good thing that there are two ministers, Saint Annalena and the horse whisperer, who take over all the work from King Olaf the Unclear, who is also mayor of Germany’s village power. Some sofa pacifists and crooks call them “warmongers,” as if they started the war and not Kremlin plasterers.
Saint Annalena and the horse whisperer have recognized the seriousness of the situation and want to send a couple of tanks after the 5,000 helmets as quickly as Blitzkrieg. But that’s not possible, because King Olaf the Unclear is busy exchanging rings. There is swapping until the troops of Kremlin-Putze have taken over parts of the Ukraine and incorporated them for all time. “The delivery will happen,” explains Ralf Stegner, also a conservative SPD pacifist. He certainly has the year 2040 in mind. If not even sooner.
Because you can rely on King Olaf the Unclear. The whole world knows that. “There are a lot of things being said that aren’t true!” The tanks are practically in the middle of the ring exchange. In any case, Polish President Andrzej Duda “didn’t lease the truth either,” says Mr. Stegner, and then no doubt thinking of the enlightened in his party, especially Pipeline-Manu, who always tells the truth, which is why she wants to dissolve her climate foundation.
If Ukraine had relied on Germany, it would long since have been a “people’s republic” in the realm of Kremlin-Putze, internationally “recognized” by the model states of North Korea, Venezuela and Syria. You know: “Compliance with international law cannot be negotiated.” And neither about “the integrity of states”. Well, a little. That’s enough with war. It is enough. “I think the fact that Germany is supplying weapons to a war zone is the wrong approach. There will be no peace like this,” Margot Käßmann is quoted as saying by her publisher. The formerly enlightened ex-bishop lives in Hanover, where Gazprom-Gerd also lives. You know each other, you agree that peace is a great thing.
Crimea gets Kremlin plasters and we have our peace. Wonderful. Until Russia rearms. Then Ms. Käßmann prays for the earth, while Sahra Wagenknecht explains in a talk show, at an old age, why Russia is basically a friendly country and is guaranteed to leave the Baltic States in peace. “What’s that supposed to get him?” The “expert” asked the same thing immediately before the attack on Ukraine. This qualified her for further interviews. There is freedom of speech here. A “left” can advise the federal government to let Ukraine down, “instead of pouring more and more fuel on the fire in the wake of the USA and risking a nuclear inferno in Europe.” Frau Wagenknecht only means well – with herself. She wants to continue writing books and hanging out on talk shows, like the lifestyle leftists like to do.
Poland is sending tanks to Ukraine, the US is sending all sorts of weapons. But as soon as Germany delivers something, nuclear war breaks out. Until then, we will remain world champions in announcing and condemning human rights violations of all kinds. Besides, we are waiting for enlightenment and the final phase-out of nuclear power. Because, as Saskia Esken said, also a supporter of King Olaf the Unclear: “Nuclear reactors produce waste that radiates radioactively for millions of years and thus endangers life on our planet.” We don’t want to risk that. Absolutely no way!
