Is it OK to stream concerts?

Like, legally? Or are you asking whether it is polite to stream a concert? Since you asked, let me tell you what every single person seated behind you at that concert wants to tell you: No, it is not OK to stream the concert. Your phone is blocking other people’s view, song after song. Furthermore, why? Are you really going to replay the entire concert so you can relive it? Your friends don’t likely want to see it, either. They’ll watch a bit of it to be polite, but they probably aren’t that into it. So, to revisit your original question of can you stream the concert? Technically, yes, yes, you can, but why would you want to? Why not just be present and enjoy the show? No video will stack up against the memory, so you might as well take it in as much as you can. If you want one good clip for social media, then make it short and snappy, for the sake of everyone else who is at that concert. They’d prefer to take in the show without your phone obstructing their vision.

That is only the half of it, though. Posting concert videos online might (might!) actually be illegal depending on the circumstances. You might find your post blocked or be demanded to take it down.

We’re getting married next month and don’t want photos from our wedding online. Can I ask guests to hold off on posting anything?

Congratulations! What a lovely, awesome, thoughtful idea. I hope this catches on. Having your guests truly present to watch you get hitched (as opposed to photo documenting you getting hitched and playing with the filters and scrolling for how many “likes” their photo got) is what it is all about. There are a few ways you could do this, including using some nice type on the invitation or placing a few signs (sweetly worded, of course) throughout your venue. I was recently at a wedding where the couple had asked their officiant to set the tone. As soon as everyone was seated, he encouraged guests to put their phones away and asked them to be truly present for the day. So, while your email was about trying to manage an embargo on your wedding photos online, there’s more going on here. By asking guests not to take photos, you get the bonus of people really enjoying themselves at your wedding.

When the envelope gets passed around the office for a gift, do I have to contribute to it?

Of course you don’t, but it’s nice to. While skipping the envelope, you might avoid a small hit to your wallet, but you might feel it in the reputation. Celebrating milestones together or contributing to a shared cause are important for team building and creating solidarity. And hey, your colleagues might very well chip in to generously buy you a gift someday. So relax, take a deep breath and pull out your wallet. Even a modest contribution makes you officially part of the effort, so contribute whatever feels right. If you are approached to contribute to a gift pool for a person that you’ve never met or worked with, that’s a bit different. In such instances, I’d be inclined to politely bow out by explaining that you ‘haven’t had the pleasure of working with so-and-so, so it wouldn’t feel appropriate contributing to a gift.’

Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online. Send her your questions: karen@mannersaresexy.com

Etiquette expert Karen Cleveland answers your questions about life online. Send her your questions: karen@mannersaresexy.com

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