A colleague of mine recently had a real flash of thought. It was about whether man might not be the crown of creation after all and whether he is generally capable of surviving. Then I had to think first – there can definitely be no question of a woman’s crisis.
Sometimes I would like to be a man, admittedly. In my opinion, one of the advantages of being a man, apart from peeing standing up (for which even the most subtle of all readers shouldn’t insinuate penis envy) was a certain kind of nonchalance that most girls, sorry, just don’t inherit is. Boys stand at the edge of the field and say: “Can you play here?” and they’re already playing along: ice hockey, football, drinking games. It doesn’t matter what they’re wearing. In most cases, of course there are exceptions. Once a boy has friends, they are often for life. Girls always have to fight a little, deliver, make a show. Of course there are misfits in boys too, of course girls are cool too, but being a girl generally means more effort and thought.
Admittedly, girls are better at that, that is, thinking. But boys have a network that supports them from an early age, sometimes even years later, and they get a top job again if they get kicked out somewhere because they had one before. Whether they can do something or not – not so important, after all, you know each other forever.
Women have to assert themselves. They are constantly building up their networks, and the following has been observed for some time: They copied from the boys, and they did it really well. Once they are well connected, they often don’t have to be able to do anything at all, if they only have the right friends. Man or woman likes to celebrate just for being a woman, for not being bitchy, for wearing a particularly pretty floral dress, for having said a single clever sentence, or for uniting a lot of followers on Instagram. So sometimes women just have to be a woman. After a certain phase of irritation, I come to the conclusion: This is good news.
Because the woman in crisis has existed long enough. Actually always. She was oppressed, dependent, uneducated. Today, women are no longer. If they are, it’s because men force them to. See Iran. But even there there are now enough men who no longer want that, who wish for a self-determined life for their wives, sisters, daughters, even their mothers. Who do not see a slave in a woman, but a person of equal value, a partner. Today’s girls often do better in school, complete their studies, but still don’t get the job that a man with less qualifications gets. For more money. Why is that? That women still have children? That they still don’t trust themselves enough? That “society” still has too many role models ready for a woman to fulfil? With all love – there is still a lot to do. Even if women are somehow “in” and men are “out”.
To be a woman, ah, that’s a wonderful thing. If, as already mentioned, I wanted to be a man, then only for a day, on a trial basis. I would also like to be a lion or a bird for a day. Or young again. All crazy, I know. But now that I’m in the second half of my life, I’m more concerned about the end than the beginning. Since I was raised in such a way that one has to respect one’s age, as a young professional I really don’t find it easy to say the following, but: I think I hate old people. They are selfish, push ahead, have no heart for youth, have no heart for others.
I keep observing this: why do old people get lonely? But not because they didn’t have other old people around. After all, our society is completely outdated. No, it’s because old people themselves don’t like other old people because they hold up the mirror to them. Her own image of herself is that of an eternally middle-aged person, you get stuck in your head, an old woman (whom I thought was great, by the way, because she was extremely reflective) told me that. Old people don’t want to see the decay of others, otherwise they would have to admit to themselves that they too are decaying.
But I digress. I didn’t want to write anything about old people, my husband always thinks I’m very mean when I moan about the old people. He’s probably just afraid I’ll dump him when he’s old. So soon. No, kidding, he just wants to be nice. But he also doesn’t have as much to do with old people as I do. And to be honest, I also look for younger friends here and there, because that’s supposed to be healthy. Not what you are thinking now, on the intellectual exchange of course. Although, of course, I congratulate women when they have a sensible, younger man by their side. But I congratulate all women who have a good man by their side at all (if they want that, and vice versa), after all, relationships are not an easy matter. But hand on heart: There are many more “good women” than “good men”, in my – old – eyes. Which brings me back to the topic, “women”. And “crisis”. So no crisis. why? Women are on the way up, they are fighting for their rights, they are taking what is theirs, they are on the right path. men doubt.
See my aforementioned colleague who saw the “White Lotus” series, didn’t like any of the male roles there and stated disillusionedly: “Nobody there that I would want to identify with.” This acclaimed, stale HBO series is a social satire about the sunny life of prosperity – in the shadows of which, he believes, a tragedy about manhood unfolds. That’s right: wimps, schemers, whiners, assholes, effeminate types – not a single heroic figure. Apart from the fact that the series was filmed sensationally and has good music in many places, the women don’t come off so well either. Nobody really gets away with it. Even kids don’t do well on the show, there’s not a single person I want to identify with.
My grandmother would have said: “Child, it’s just a movie”. She said that especially when things got scary. And then I said: “Yes, but Grandma, someone came up with that shit – so there are people who think in such a crass or sick way.” Back to “White Lotus”: The women in the series are not suitable as role models, not a single one. Am I whining about that? Do I worry about being a woman? Barely. And when I do, it doesn’t even remotely occur to me that “the woman” is “in crisis”. My colleague does because of the men. What does that say about the man? I think you’d better make up your own mind this weekend.
Oh yes, one last note: while looking for a photo to illustrate my column, I came across the photos of the surfing pro women. For me, they symbolize that women today can do anything, are allowed to do anything. They’re up there, floating, gliding, racing. Why am I singing this woman’s song of praise? Because I am one myself. I race
