“In this room, who would be willing to date someone on the right? The face of the host of this evening of twenty-something urban graduates lights up as the round table gradually reveals a consensus within the group: “Never! I feel the embarrassment rise when my (then) partner’s turn comes around and she breaks social conformity by indicating that she’s dating “a right-wing man.” This fact obviously bothers him.
So it’s not the first time that this uneasiness has been expressed in our couple regarding my “right-wing” (liberal centrist) political orientation. When it came to introductions to her family, she told me beforehand that she hadn’t had the courage to tell them what types of media I wrote for and what my “political beliefs” were because “going out with right-winger, [she] felt like she was betraying [her] family,” she told me. So I had been asked to lie. The affair did not last.
Has this rejection of political pluralism and manifest lack of openness spread to the left? What about right-wingers? The relatively recent works of political sociology, in particular those of Anne Muxel, however teach us that, in the majority of cases, politics is not considered by the French as a determining element of their couple relationships.
In the early 2010s, only about a third of French people considered it important to “share the same political beliefs” to have a real and lasting relationship with loved ones, a factor considered secondary to moral values ??or educational principles. . This is partly linked to the fact that a large proportion of individuals are weakly politicized or ideologically structured.
On the other hand, it is not the same story for politicized people, the most educated people, who are much more inclined to consider that political opinions must converge within the couple. The work of sociologist Anne Muxel has already shown that individuals on the left tended to find the convergence of political ideas in the couple much more important than individuals on the right.
The results of the recent Cluster17 survey on the sexuality of the French people for Le Point go in this direction and make it possible to distinguish more finely the politico-sentimental discriminations within the population. A slim majority (55%) say they can have a romantic relationship with someone whose political beliefs are far removed from their own (a third disagree, and one in ten don’t know). This proportion is lower among women than among men, but in the different political families that make up the left-wing electorate: it is particularly obvious among individuals who are closer to the far left (multiculturalists, solidarity or rebels) who are a majority to refuse to have a romantic relationship with people who think differently.
Effect of political radicalism? We can answer in the negative by noting that individuals on the identity right are more numerous than the average (62%) to say they are ready to have a romantic relationship with people who do not think like them. Even among the most moderate, there remains a 15-point gap between individuals on the left (Social Democrats, Progressives, Social Republicans) and right-wingers (centrists and liberals).
The refusal to conceive of a romantic relationship with people who think differently is still much stronger among young people on the radical left than among their ancestors. It is impossible to determine whether we are witnessing a growing polarization of young people (generation effect) or whether this is more due to a radical effect linked to youth (age effect). In any case, this testifies to a fairly strong will to be among themselves among these groups of educated individuals, with jobs related to the public service, and who constitute the heart of the electorate of La France insoumise.
Behind these sentimental choices appears a vision of the world where all human relationships and daily life must be subject to the empire of politics. “It’s part of who I am, it’s an extension of my being, I can’t date someone who disagrees with economic inequality,” a (left-wing) colleague told me. evocation of a funny, elegant, athletic man of his age, considered “attractive”, but who has the misfortune to vote for a centrist party and to qualify as “liberal”.
Willingness to politicize everything – including hearts and bodies -, to submit one’s desires and affects to a finality deemed superior… this is an almost religious posture. What would amount to “tolerable intolerance” is motivated by the assurance (reinforced by the acquisition of educational qualifications) of having the truth, and reduces individuals to the single ballot that they slip into the ballot box.
Ironically enough, this inward-looking behavior, which parallels that of practicing Catholics observed in previous surveys, affects individuals who claim to advocate tolerance but fail to practice it in their day-to-day relationships. The transition from theory to practice is sometimes very difficult…
