A great step of men and women to begin with the sexual life
They must overcome the pressure and fear of feeling pain during the first intercourse.
“did that hurt?”. This is the big question among young women when talking of the first time. When a girl is a virgin, what you are more interested in knowing is how much of a bad thing will happen, how it will be the pain that is coming and not so much how beautiful will be the pleasure of living. The answers you often get out of the friends tend not to be all that sincere. They are more concerned about the damage by the step that’s going to take: the beginning of the sexual life.
In past centuries, virginity was a taboo subject until the day of marriage that, at times, had been concluded. Female sexuality remained locked, and his coronation was a mere formality. This scheme has evolved into a context in which the pressure and the fear they play as starters. The girls, in addition to expect your first time to be memorable, be comfortable and, above all, trust in the person you are going to share the bed, begin to take a different attitude to deal with it. More aware.
On this stage sexual, probably the most important, not only for them, reflect the sexologists Heidi Beroud-Poyet and Laura Beltan, in his recent book women and sex (Current Platform). In the age of empowerment of the female, these specialists analyze, didactic and informative, the evolution of women’s sexuality and the problems that can be found. They have proven that the obligation to make the first step too fast, or too slow, you can generate discomfort and, in an interview with the Paper, insist that “the important thing is to be ready to commit your own body.” Prepared to give and to get naked.
Beroud-Poyet and Beltran reiterated that the girls have to hear, constantly, how uncomfortable it is, the shame and the pain that accompanies the first time, in a way that anticipated the anguish and tension, suffering from nerves and fear, long before the occasion sex has taken shape. Without realizing that you can stop if any of the participants do not feel at all comfortable. They say that “sexuality comes gradually, if they are passed the age at which they should maintain sexual relations with peer pressure begins to take effect”.
in Addition, the referents of the sex that they usually have young women are their equals, their friends, their classmates or their older sisters who, in many cases, also have little experience and whose information is not the best. The wonder as well, subconsciously, you are pushing. “And you, how did you do?”.
We compare between them, almost as if you stop being a virgin were a competition. You yes, I do not. This more, this less. And the first sexual relations can, thus, be accompanied by suffering.
in Addition, the initiation to sex does not have to arise with the first great love. Is more, is usually not something perfect or amazing. There are errors and the rush to have done it’s never going to please. The sexologists referred to above argue that women seek in a recurrent way, support and advice. “Sexuality is a learning process; the exploration of the body will help to that the relationships are more satisfying”, they argue. More simple: if a mechanic doesn’t know the car that you are working it is very likely that the result will be a sloppy.
sexuality comes gradually, if they are passed the age at which they should maintain sexual relations with peer pressure begins to take effect
“The women must deal with their sexuality, be interested, be active and wake her up”, pursue it. And insist on the importance of begin: “The first sexual relationship is associated with becoming an adult, form part of one of the stages of adulthood. As you take the driving licence or to worry about how to earn a living”.
Leaving the child passes through a series of transformations, in which women, in general, has the discomfort ever present: “The period, for the first time and giving birth”, mentioned the sexologists. As if the women, as they grow up, they were assuming that the pain will always be present in their lives. That is to say, the pain adds to its femininity. For this reason, it is normal that the first time they have sex they “become the enemy number one” by joining the pain, the shame and fear with desire.
There are those who keep their virginity in a chest, waiting for the arrival of the person final. Other banalize the sex but all of them are wondering if they will be prepared. The movies lie, a shirt does not unbuttons fast and some drainpipe trousers are complex to remove. It is like driving, is to learn and that takes time. The naturalness, naivety, laughter and trust must prevail. It’s about having fun. Remember: if you stop want, say so.
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