You can’t work well with anger in your stomach, it only causes damage in the long run. But what helps if you have to be constantly upset at work?
The colleague delivers too late, the boss has another strange idea and the customers don’t call back: Some employees get upset about every little thing on the job. That doesn’t make you satisfied in the long run – and it’s also unhealthy. But please what to do if anger keeps rising in your stomach?
“A first step in an acute situation can be to build distance – take a deep breath and slowly count to ten,” says Hannes Zacher, Professor of Industrial and Organizational Psychology at the University of Leipzig. That alone can be liberating and make you feel more relaxed about things.
But it also makes sense to take a quiet minute to reflect on certain situations that make you so angry. “You also have to realize that people are different and have different attitudes,” says Zacher.
In the course of this reflection, one must compare one’s own needs and desires with the behavior of others, which makes one boil, and explore for oneself where a middle ground might lie.
But there is another way. “It’s quite appropriate to tell others that they upset you wildly,” says occupational psychologist Zacher.
Let’s say you’re sitting in your office and a colleague next door is constantly whistling tune after tune at work – with the result that you’re completely annoyed. “In such a situation, it makes sense to describe an observation to your colleague in a matter-of-fact, calm tone,” says Zacher. The annoyed person expresses their own feeling (“I can hardly concentrate”) and in the next step expresses how they would like the situation to be.
Of course, it would be ideal if the colleague stopped whistling. But maybe a compromise can be found – and the colleague changes to an office that is off the beaten track.
What’s important: If you let others in the working world know that they’re driving you crazy, then you should always describe your messages from the first-person perspective, advises work psychologist Frank Berzbach. Because what upsets you so much, others do not necessarily feel the same way.
And escalating the conversation is by no means a good idea. “It’s better to ask the other side to think about what you want,” said Zacher.
More serenity in everyday work life is not always so easy to implement. “Noise can increase the stress level enormously and ensure that you get angry more quickly over small things,” says Frank Berzbach. Employees should therefore ensure that the working environment is as quiet as possible and clarify with their supervisors whether soundproof partition walls can be installed in an open-plan office.
“It has also been proven that with increasing age one gains more composure and emotional stability,” says Hannes Zacher. You don’t avoid difficult situations, but address them openly right away – so no aggression can build up.
Zacher gives an example: One employee dislikes the fact that colleagues constantly leave their used cups lying around. At a team meeting, she can encourage everyone to put their used cups in the dishwasher as soon as possible, so that clean ones are available the next day, which don’t have to be laboriously rinsed by hand.
Another example: An employee is annoyed that team meetings are always so long. “Instead of his anger building up, he can take the initiative and discuss with his boss how such meetings can be streamlined,” says Zacher.
In any case, adopting an all-important attitude is not a solution. “Indifference is destructive and poisons the working atmosphere,” says Frank Berzbach. This harms yourself and others.
And what if it happens again that you get angry in everyday work? In addition to taking deep breaths and counting to ten, changing places can also help. “Just go out and do a lap around the block,” recommends Hannes Zacher. Anyone who wants to stay at work can also actively engage in a completely different matter “to get away from the one point that makes you angry,” says Frank Berzbach.
Sometimes it also happens that colleagues or superiors have an outburst of anger. “Never shout back now, but instead have a de-escalating effect on the other person,” advises work psychologist Zacher. This can be done with the words “I notice you’re upset, but I don’t want to communicate with you in that tone”. And then get up calmly and change location.
